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Frivolously
Answered Questions: Read the following at your own risk and with
a pinch of salt, a shake of pepper, and a dash of oyster sauce.
Put on your thinking cap and down a serious dose of humour. You'll
need it. Trust me. |
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| Who
are you? Ashley Tan. That's Who do you think you are? Superman. No, I do not wear blue tights with red underwear outside or a blanket around my neck, nor do I have an aversion for green, glowing rocks. Not any more at least. What I mean is that I like to do many things at once. For example, having lunch and talking over the phone while reading the news on my PDA, and listening to the radio that is loud enough so I can hear it through the door. All of this as I perch upon my bathroom "throne". Yes, you read correctly. Through the door. The door is closed. I am not an exhibitionist, red underwear or not. Who killed Colonel Mustard? A very profound question, my dear reader, one that has puzzled many a Cluedo fan. It is not relevant to this FAQ but you have come to the right place. See the mountain of words that follows? Climb it and you will reach enlightenment (or at the very least a mild state of constipation). |
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What
do/did you do for a living? Previously,
I was a poor graduate student in Indiana
University, Bloomington where I pursued a Ph.D. in Instructional
Systems Technology. I was involved with a research
group which is under the umbrella body called the CRLT.
I was on a three-year scholarship for the Ph.D. but opted to extend
my stay for almost another year. To bring in some dough and to prevent
moss from growing, I taught an online class, W401: Integrating Technology
in Teaching.
Now, the most fun thing I do is spend time with my immediate family: Rachel (my wife) and Isaac (my son). It's also fun trying find time and ways to expand the family...
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Where
do you live? From
that airport, I took a plane to Arizona in 2000 and then to Indiana
in 2002. But OK, OK, that was a bad one. What comes next is worse. Go have a heavy meal first then come back and read it. You don't follow instructions very well, do you? Anyway, my ideas are generated like a sneeze or excess gas. Both come naturally and are due to some input (what exactly that input is, you never really know). Both are difficult to hold back, but once released bring great relief. Some might even argue that they prolong life. They must be released with venom. I am not talking about those half-hearted, girly little sneezes. I am talking about a rip-roaring sneeze that would 1) make the big, bad wolf proud and 2) water the garden at the same time. The burp or fart (chemical name: carbon dibackside) should be one that reverberates through a building, shaking its foundations and melting plastic as it moves down a concentration gradient. Where did you get your wicked sense of humour from? Got, meh? Why, want to buy, izzit? Just pop into any NTUC with a pharmacy. Go to the "Best Medicine" section. It's easy to find. It looks like a box of condoms. Wicked, meh? No animals were harmed in the production of this web page. I love animals. Chicken, fish, cows... |
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| Why
do you do what you do? There is more than one way to interpret that question. One is "Don't you have anything else better to do?" I believe that a person really owns very few things in life. Among them are your word, your creativity, and your opinions (no matter how wrong they may be). One should express oneself in a medium one is comfortable with. So I promise to walk along the borders of sanity and tell you what I see. Why "Ashley"? Isn't it a girl's name? If only I got a dollar every time I was asked that question. I would be rich! I would be able to buy... um, a Whopper meal. Upsize some more! Pay attention, class! Here's a short history lesson on my name. Ashley started as a last/family/surname. Then it was Christian name adopted by a few enlightened males. I had a teacher, a schoolmate, and an army acquaintance named Ashley. They are all male (I took their word for it and didn't check). A famous Ashley is the character in Gone With The Wind. My mother read the book and watched the movie. Got it? Then some girl came along and adopted the name. Soon others followed suit like lemmings! Anyway, it is now a name that can be used for both sexes. Like Pat, Sam, Harry, Henry, Mandy, Bernie, and a whole host of others. Got it? Learn it, memorise it, chant it. There will be a test on it. Why can't you answer a question like a normal person? What? And take all the fun out of it? It's like when you go trekking/tramping. What? Never gone tramping? Never mind, imagine! It's always nice to reach your intended destination, but there are so many things to experience along the way. Learn by experience. Take the scenic route! Why is this FAQ so long? You're still reading it aren't you? It is out of consideration for some visitors that the page is long. Some of you are accessing this at the workplace. It must look "official" or look like "reference material". So there. |
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When did you create this FAQ? When
is this FAQ going to end? |
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How
are you? |
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So
how do I get in touch with you?
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